I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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