are you still at the devil's house?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
