I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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