After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
