the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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