Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
