The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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