You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
