no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
