I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
