boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish you could order shots online.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
