Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
