I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
