So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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