Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
a search helicopter?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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