i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
