i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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