Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
