he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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