Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
