And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
