why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
