plz talk dirty to me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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