I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
