I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
