She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
