Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dick very happy bro
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
