Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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