Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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