Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
