i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
