It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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