So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
