Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
