How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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