I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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