I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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