that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
