The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
