Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
