Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
