the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
