i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
