I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
