I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
