I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my liver is dry heaving
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
