i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
