I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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