This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
