idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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